Numbers
by ballerinab2004
Summary: My take on what could happen in 9.8 SPOILERS, obviously.
1. Chapter 1

_I DO NOT OWN SPOOKS OR ANY OF THE ASSOCIATED CHARACTERS – NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED._

_SERIOUS SPOILERS FOR SERIES 9.8 based upon Press release._

_Set in 9.8 – My take based upon the trailer._

Ruth sat cross legged upon the unevenly gravelled roof top above Thames House. This place had always been one of sanctuary before, where Harry and she had come to share snatched moments together away from the chaos below. But now the chaos had risen upwards and swept her away from him.

Lucas sat facing her, expression wild and his sharp features haggard with fatigue. Loaded weapons were clenched tightly in both hands. His hands shook slightly, but their grip was strong as he maintained their aim at Ruth's forehead. The woman she had been introduced to as Maya, sat next to him, huddled into a ball, frightened and shivering in the biting wind which danced across the roof top and swirled down onto the streets below.

Footsteps crunched into the gravel behind her. Ruth squeezed her eyes tight shut and prayed that it would not be Harry. She had distanced herself from him in the hope that when this situation arose (which she always knew that it would) that he could easily make the right choice. Country above all else. The logic behind the mathematical equation of her life against the greater good would make his decision easier. Except it didn't. Mathematics could not quantify the strength of his devotion to her, or of her devotion to him. Life wasn't all about numbers. It was never that easy.

The footsteps crunched closer and Harry cautiously approached the tense tableaux. Lucas unceremoniously grabbed Ruth's collar, hauling her upright and pressing the cold steel of a hand gun to her temple. Ruth struggled but Lucas increased his grip, choking the breath from her lungs. Ruth's eyes locked with Harry's. She tried to be brave, to maintain a steely gaze that would not betray the depths of emotion which lay behind. She failed. Blue eyes met brown and everything was understood. She knew what he was about to say.

Harry's voice rang out across the roof top.

"I have the Albany file. The helicopter is on the way to pick you and Maya up. Malcolm has created new identities for both of you. Let Ruth go now. I will honour my agreement with you. You can still leave. Just let Ruth go. "

Ruth stared in half in disbelief and half in profound relief. _Harry would never betray his country, why? _The little voice in her head screamed the answer. Ruth could not let Harry throw his career and life away. Too important. She could not bear the thought that he would have to bear the label of traitor.

Lucas snorted. "I doubt you will honour any agreement, unless I keep Ruth with me. She has always been your Achilles heel, hasn't she?"

"Harry!" Ruth cried "Let me go! Keep Albany safe!" Lucas interrupted her with a blow to the stomach, knocking all the air from her lungs. She sank to the ground, wheezing. Then she felt the cold steel press against the back of her forehead and the torturously slow clack of the safety catch being removed. Harry stood paralysed with fear. He had underestimated Lucas. Badly.

"Please, Harry." She half choked, half sobbed. "Keep the other agents safe. I am nothing. I am nothing.." She repeated those words like a mantra, in the hope that the repetition would make them true.

"You are everything, Ruth." Harry's voice was roughened with emotion. "Always have been. Always will be"

"Touching. Really" She almost felt the sneer in Lucas's voice as he demanded the file again and pushed the metal harder into the back of her skull. The faint beat of the helicopters blades could be heard in the distance. Time seemed to slow. Harry stared at Ruth and tried to put all the things that had never been said into a look. She nodded and tears began to stain her cheeks. She tried to do the same back. The saddest smile she had ever seen played upon Harry's lips.

Her hair whipped around her face, temporarily blinding her, as the helicopter hovered above them like a cold steel bird looking for its prey. Dust and grit clogged her lungs and she coughed violently.

"The FILE!" Lucas screamed above the noise. Harry stepped forward and handed a memory stick to Lucas. Lucas backed towards the helicopter, roughly shoving Maya with one hand and dragging Ruth with another. In a violent movement she twisted free of his grasp and launched herself towards Harry. It seemed to Harry that all of creation had stopped for this moment. Lucas spun around, anger contorting his face. Lucas raised his firearm. Harry pulled his. A shot rang out. Silence fell.

Dmitri leaped from the helicopter, hearing the shot. Ruth lay face down in Harry's arms. Lucas lay twisted upon the floor. Limbs at unnatural angles, his pale face ashen and pressed to the floor. Maya screamed. Over and over.

Slowly, Ruth's world came back into focus. Daylight and the wind brought her back to the present. She mentally checked herself over, clasping her right arm, which was beginning to turn crimson. Gently, as though she was a china doll, Harry helped her upright and began to apply pressure to the wound.

"I am so sorry…" he began.

"Don't be. We are both okay." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, apart from this" She motioned to her arm. "It's just a graze."

She fixed him with her most serious stare. "We need to talk…I have something to ask"

**I have another Chapter, if people would like to read! Please review! Thank you for all your kind reviews of Gospels and the Rain and thank you to ddagent for encouraging me to post this!**


	2. Chapter 2

Ruth could not quite believe she was in the hospital again. Harry was prowling around the cubicle like a caged tiger. He watched the Nurse intently as she dressed Ruth's wound. It had been cleaned, and the stitches sewn and thanks to the morphine, was now pleasantly numb. Ruth knew Harry blamed himself for her getting injured. Twice in two days. That was a new personal record for Ruth. One that she would be quite happy not to repeat any time soon. She glared at the off-white walls with their peeling information posters. She had no idea how she was going to talk to Harry about the decision she had made whilst being held by Lucas. No idea. She sighed. Harry looked up, gave her a faint smile of reassurance, before continuing his watch of the nurse.

"All done." The Nurse exclaimed. "Take it easy and wear loose clothing for a few days. Take all the medicine prescribed. We don't want any infections."

"She will, don't worry." Harry's tone of voice left little room for argument. Fatigue and the events of the last couple of days began to catch up with Ruth and she rubbed her hand across her forehead and decided not to contest Harry. Not yet, anyway.

They walked together down the muted corridors, side by side, almost touching, closer than they had been in weeks. A more comfortable silence hung in the air. Ruth stopped suddenly as they passed through the A and E department. She heard a familiar voice. Pulling back a curtain nervously she peered around to see Maya, curled up on a bed behind. Her dark hair hung loosely around her face and her eyes were rimmed with red. Ruth recognised all too well the look of grief in her eyes. Ruth started towards the bed.

"Maya, do you have someone coming for you?"

Maya looked startled, but glad of Ruth's concern. "My parents. Don't worry, I have been, what do you people call it? Debriefed. What an awful term. It totally dehumanises what happened. What happened to Lucas, John..oh god." Her voice broke with emotion "For what's it's worth, I am sorry…I feel so responsible..I should never have got involved...but I loved him." She stared at the bed sheets, playing with a corner of the linen.

Ruth laid her hand on Maya's. "You do not need to apologise. You could never have known what was happening. Lucas had deceived us all for years. No one could have fathomed the truth. But he did love you. Of that I am certain. Just promise me something?"

Maya looked uncertain and motioned for Ruth to continue. "Remember Lucas well and do not let your grief consume you. It can do that. Take your time, but live your life again. That is something I forgot to do." Maya nodded and saw the ghosts which hid behind Ruth's eyes. Ruth rose slowly. "Take care, Maya."

"You too"

Ruth turned back to Harry. "We need to have that talk. But can we go back to mine? I feel the need for familiar surroundings, and my pyjamas."

"Sweet tea is what you need" Harry remarked echoing a time long since past.

"Yes, I think it is" Ruth gave Harry a very genuine smile and curled her hand around his arm as the left the hospital, taking comfort in his strength.

**I have more to come! With what Ruth will say to Harry! Please let me know if you like! Thank you for the reviews they are very much appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, now I am aware this ending will never actually be in spooks. It is far too happy. But indulge me…****I do not own any of Spook's characters.**

Daylight was fading as they returned to Ruth's flat. The temperature had dropped rapidly as they had journeyed through London and an autumnal chill sliced through the air, making Ruth shiver. Her favourite blue shirt was thin and did little to keep out the cold. _You don't really have the time to ask to stop to pick up a coat when you are being kidnapped, _she thought wryly. The cold had caused her fingers to stiffen and she fumbled for the key and could not seem to make it fit in the lock. Gently, Harry took them from her and opened the door.

"In you go." He spoke gently, quietly. "You'll catch your death out here." His northern tones, usually hidden, came out when he was tired. It was a little quirk that Ruth quietly adored. Awkwardly, they danced around each other, as tea was made and Ruth went to change her clothes. As she undressed, she found new bruises and sighed. She rummaged in her wardrobe and found some smart but comfortable brushed cotton trousers and a cashmere sweater, which she had never worn. As she stepped back outside the room, all was quiet in the flat. She padded down the hall barefoot and into the living room. The sight that greeted her made her breath catch. Harry had made tea, and found a myriad of biscuits, but had obviously sat on the sofa to wait for her before pouring the tea. He had carefully arranged everything onto a tray. Now, however, this thoughtful arrangement lay cooling and forgotten. He had fallen fast asleep, spark out. He half lay, half sat upon the sofa, his breathing shallow and features finally relaxed. The only sign of the day's traumas was his shirt, which was still stained crimson in places, from where he had tended to her wound.

The thought of everything she had almost lost was too much for Ruth. Ever so slowly she reached over him, for the blanket which covered the far end of the sofa and pulled it over him. He did not stir, his exhaustion was so great. Tears streamed down her cheeks, as she tenderly pressed her lips to his forehead and then settled in the chair opposite. She curled her legs beneath her, feeling slightly more at peace. She allowed her eyes to close for a moment.

The pain in her arm caused her to jerk awake. Dazed and confused she mentally cursed herself for falling asleep in her chair again instead of going to bed like a normal person. Then she remembered. Harry Pearce was now awake and watching her. The distance between them still remained.

"How's your arm?" he asked, the concern evident in his eyes.

"Fine" She replied. He looked doubtful. She steeled herself. Now had to be the right time. No interruptions, the danger had passed. They were together, alone. Things did not have to be as difficult as she had made them.

"I realised something today." She glanced at the clock. It read an hour she preferred to pretend did not usually exist. "Well, yesterday now I suppose." Harry decided to remain silent. Fear and uncertainty began to creep through his chest. He did not meet her gaze.

"Not everything has to be about the numbers. Our humanity lies in seeing beyond the figures and realising that sometimes, even in our profession, the power and worth of our own feeling for another cannot be ignored. It should not be ignored. Or pushed away. Or sacrificed in penance." Her voice faltered, unsure of how to continue. Harry still did not meet her gaze. He did not want her to see the tiny spark of hope, which had crept into his eyes. He tried to push the emotion down and away. He felt the heat rising in his cheeks as his eyes watered.

Ruth crossed the room and knelt upon the sofa next to him. She reached for his hands that twisted uncharacteristically nervously in his lap. He still could not look up.

"We had something wonderful. I miss that. So badly. Is it too late? Am I too late? I never meant to cause you pain, but I know that I did and I am so sorry. I thought I would never see you again today.." Her words quickened, breathing erratic. He still did not look up. His breathing laboured and his mind confused.

"Ask me again" She almost breathed the words, as though she could not bear to voice them; the fear of rejection was so great. He finally looked up at Ruth. The words hung in the air like they had that day at the funeral. He leant over, lips grazing over her cheek, voice roughened with emotion as he spoke into her ear. His words sent shivers down her spine.

"Marry me, Ruth. I love you. I should have said that the first time"

She turned her face towards his, so their foreheads were resting against each other. Then she rubbed her nose against his.

"I will." She said simply. She placed her cool hands on his warm cheeks and kissed him like she had on the docks a lifetime ago, lips expressing what words could not. Together. Finally.

**Thank you so much for reading! And for the reviews, please leave me one more if you liked! I was a bit uncertain about this chapter, but I felt they needed a happier ending than they may get!**


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